Memento Mori
by La Madone
Summary: "Dawn…" She couldn't see her, couldn't feel her as though she wasn't here. Not anymore. As though the part of Dawn that lived inside of her wasn't living anymore. As though it was dead. Like she was dead.


_**I fell in love with Buffy The Vampire Slayer once again.**_

**_So here I am, trying to write stuff about it._**

**_Hope you'll enjoy it._**

**_Disclaimer : Nothing belongs to me._**

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_I love you Buffy._

That was it; some fading words, a bright light and a very intense pain in her heart. Then she fell down; her head hitting the steel tower under her feet with violence. She didn't care very much. The pain was nothing compared to the one that was filling her heart.

Her eyes were focused on what she was seeing. A beautiful night, full of stars, full of hope. A perfect night to die. A perfect night to live.

_I love you Buffy. _Dawn's small voice echoed in her mind. _I'm scared. Don't let go. Buffy._

_Buffy._

_Buffy._

_Buffy._

"Dawn…" She couldn't see her, couldn't feel her as though she wasn't here. Not anymore. As though the part of Dawn that lived inside of her wasn't living anymore. As though it was dead. Like she was dead.

And for a moment, Buffy thought she had failed—that she had failed Dawn. That all she had done—all she had tented to protect the only thing that mattered to her in the world was in vain. "Dawn…"

No reponse.

And suddenly, it was like all the air had been sucked from her lungs. She swore she had heard her own heart cracking from within.

"Dawn… please…" Buffy tried to move, to get up but the more she was trying, the more painful it was. She felt like suffocating. She couldn't breathe. Her vision was blurred by tears and she was going to break down anytime soon. "Please… Dawn!"

"I'm here, Buffy. Just right here,"she whispered in her sister's ears.

Almost inaudible. Yet, it was here. _Dawn_ was really here. A feeling of relief crashed upon her—she could now close her eyes and pray for tomorrow to be better because Dawn was here.

_"Don't let go."_

"I won't…"

_"Don't let me go."_

"Never."

Then she felt asleep, persuaded that Dawn would be there when she would wake up.

* * *

"How is she?" Giles asked Spike, staring at an uncounscious Buffy in his arms. She looked peaceful, almost fragile when she had her eyes closed. Even when she slept Buffy looked strong, and bigger than her real size. But right now, she looked tiny but no less beautiful. She was beautiful despite everything had happened.

She was beautiful despite all the horror that life had put her through.

"She passed out but—I think, she'll be fine. She has to be fine. I mean, she's _Buffy_, right ?" Spike stopped, glaring around him and seeing how defeted, how sad the whole gang was. "She'll be okay. She'll be fine—she's a survivor, right?"

They didn't say anything, they just nodded though they weren't sure anymore. Buffy was strong. But how strong could a human say till he reached his breaking point. How strong could Buffy remain before the world collapses around her ?

They all had an idea. However, for once, none of them wanted to be right.

* * *

They all had agreed. There was no way that they were bringing Buffy to the hospital. Because first of all, she'd freak out from the moment when she'd open her eyes and second of all, she'd kill anyone who was up to this. And no one wanted to die tonight.

There were enough deads.

"I'm putting her to bed," Spike said when they got into Buffy's house. "Willow, could you... "He looked at still asleep Buffy and then at Willow.

Willow immedialty got it, "Clean her up?" She finished.

Spike nodded.

"Of course." She replied quickly.

And both Willow and him made their way upstairs while Anya

In the living room, Xander, Anya, Tara and Giles looked at each other. None of them—except Tara always confused—wanted to break the icy silence that was filling the place.

Tara finally spoke, her eyes full of tears. "There's no light anymore," And though severals lamps lighthing up the room and Anya tried to calm her down, Tara kept on saying the same thing. Again and again. Like a mantra, "There's no light anymore. There's no light anymore."

_There's no light anymore._

They knew what she meant—what _light _Tara was actually talking about.

"The light is gone," Xander said to anyone in particular. "Buffy's light is gone."

Giles glanced at Xander and walked out. Taking his glasses off, he passed his hand over his face and noticed his wet fingers.

Tears.

He was crying. He didn't remember when was the last time he did actually cry. But right now, he was.

* * *

Spike had slowly laid her on her bed and then, Willow had come, cleaing her up and patching her up. Some bruises were already fading, some cut were already healing. The others one— the most painful ones were going to need time. Buffy was going to need time. A lot of time. To process everything, to get over all of this mess. To heal.

Because Buffy will heal. Everybody did. Some ones faster than others. Scars will remain but she will heal.

She was a survivor after all.

* * *

The red-head was about to leave Buffy's room to check on Tara when a voice—Buffy's startled her. She almost wished she hadn't heard it because she feared the question that were coming. She feared that Buffy didn't remember. That she forgot what happened on the tower.

"Wi—Willow,"

She turned around, trying her best to smile. Not wanting to freak her out more. "Hey Buffy, you gave us a nasty scare up there, on that tower. But you're okay now. You're gonna be fine. I promise."

Sitting next to her, Willow gently strocked her friend's hair.

Buffy blinked a few times, glancing around, trying to catch some brown-haired girl, but nothing. She wasn't here. She was probably in her own room, sleeping.

"How is Dawn? Is she okay?" Buffy finally managed to ask.

And Willow's fear came true. She didn't remember.

Willow's hand stopped moving and she felt herself loss at words. In front of her was sitting her friend—her bestfriend who had given everything up to save the ones she lovedt—to save the world. _Buffy_. The one who deserved the more to be happy and the one who was _litteraly_ going to die from a broken-heart. Because Will knew—she was sure that it will kill Buffy somehow. Because she tried hard—so hard and that now, her favorite person in the word was gone.

"Willow?" Buffy asked again.

She didn't know what to say. She didn't want to be the one breaking the new to her. She didn't want to be the one who broke her bestfriend's heart. But she didn't have to do it since at this moment, Spike came into her room.

"Dawn's fine, Love."

She looked up at Spike.

And that was enough. Buffy smiled, a tired smile but a smile though. Then, she quickly fell asleep again.

Spike left the room and an angry Willow followed him outside. She grabbed his arm and forced him to turn around,"What did you do that? Dawn _isn't_ fine. You _lied_ to her."

"Because it's been weeks since she smiled for real. _Weeks_. And then, for one second Willow, just one second, she was happy. Happy that her baby sister was fine. She won't be happy till a long while because _this girl_—because _Dawn was her whole life_. She swore to protect the Nibblet but it didn't end up the way we planned it to. And when she's gonna find out the truth it won't be pretty. Because it's gonna destroy her and we won't be able to fix her. That kind of pain can't be fix, Willow. Never."

Then, Spike jerked his arm away and left a completely shaking Willow.

* * *

Deeply tired, Buffy thought at first she was dreaming. But then, she felt someone getting on her bed, under her blankets. Smiling, she could still see her bright blue eyes behind her closed ones. She slowly opened her eyes, "Dawn?"

"Buffy..."

She wasn't herself. Buffy could feel it.

"Dawnie, you're alright. Don't worry. Everything is fine. You're fine."

Dawn shook her head and looked for Buffy's hand.

"Hold my hand, Buffy," And Buffy did. She grabbed her sister hand and held it tight. As if her whole self depended on her. As if she was scared that Dawn could fall off the bed, fall off the world. "Hold my hand and don't let go, okay?"

"I won't. Never. Ever," Buffy promised, half-asleep. "I love you, Dawn."

The girl smiled. "I_ love you too, Buffy."_

And it was with some pretty blue eyes on her that Buffy fell asleep for good.

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**_Well, I'm French. Sorry for any mistakes._**

**_Let me a review to tell me what you think about it, alright?  
_**

**_-La Madone._**

**_Ps : that's the only chapter I wrote for now. I'll see if I'm continuing this or not. It's up to you guys._**


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